What I didn’t expect when I took the kids out of school last year to travel the US for six months, was that I wouldn’t want to send them back when we got home. I find myself in a strange position of late, a monologue debate if you will, fighting both sides of the issue.
When we left last year I was in a wonderful space. The kids were both in nursery school in the morning. This afforded me the time to tackle my list of things to do, get work done, exercise, have coffee with a friend, do the grocery shopping, any number of things that it is easier to do without children, particularly a three and four year old hell bent on turning my previously youthful self into someone looking more like a middle aged mother with each passing day. And then we decided to pack it up and jet the four of us off to the States. Looking back, this was the best thing we have ever done.
I was in no doubt when we left South Africa that having the children with us all day, and all night, every day for six months was going to be a challenge, especially when Shaun and I had got into the very good habit of having a date night once a week, and making time for each other as much as we could in amongst our busy lives. Suddenly faced with no date nights and no nursery school was a daunting image. I write this knowing how ridiculous it must sound to people who don’t have children. I mean why wouldn’t we want to spend all day and all night with our spawn, right? I also write this with the knowledge that parents with grown children often long for the days when the kids were young and innocent, little sponges walking around absorbing details about the world that grown-ups take completely for granted.
Well, what I realised during our travels is that it needn’t have been as daunting as we, or maybe I, had thought. Our little sponges walked around with us doing exactly that, absorbing the world. They were energetic, happy, bouncy, sometimes tired and grumpy, but usually incredible three and four year olds. There is nothing more we could have asked of them, and I know with every fibre of my being how much they loved spending every day and every night with us. We were theirs entirely.
I will freely admit that I didn’t fully appreciate before we left, just how much I would come to treasure this time as a family, possibly, no, definitely more so than actually travelling the States. We have been asked so many times, “What was your favourite part?” and my honest answer, is having that incredible time with my family. Seeing all the things we saw, and being in some of the most epic places definitely gave our trip a sense of purpose and wonderment, but I think the true beauty of those five months for me was watching my children grow and learn, taking in their world, and being able to shape each day the way we wanted to. We had no nursery school we had to be at, no after school activities and no meetings (this isn’t entirely true of Shaun and Skype, but the kids and I escaped it). Sure we had daily survival basics, grocery shopping, and other mundane life tasks, budgeting, finding accommodation, many of which were stressful make no mistake, but each day was ours to throw ourselves into, either with barrels of laughter and energy, or with pyjamas and a mug of hot chocolate. I can’t imagine not having had this time with them, it is such an important age, an age when their reasoning is shaped, their logic formed and ideas of who they are and how they fit into the world expanded. It is an incredible blessing to have been given this time with them, so completely and without reserve. I really do know how lucky I am.
I think the early years with my children left me a little scared, a little scarred even. Having two kids fourteen months apart and no family around to help left its mark. Shaun and I were worn flat for many months, it took more than a lot out of us, as any parent of a baby can attest. Each day was a survival to get to the next… but now here we are! An incredible age of wonder and joy, from not just one child but two. I can say without hesitation that children bring joy, and loads of it! Sure the first few years can be backbreaking work, but the rewards when you can start enjoying the world with your children, seeing things through their fresh, untainted eyes, and feeding off the endless joy and giggles that seem to spill from every corner of the house, answering questions you haven’t thought about possibly since you were their age, and being challenged on your ‘truths’ … it is magnificent!
The brilliance of the past six months is going to be hard to let go of, giving my children over to a school system I don’t control, and being ruled by a time that I cannot mold, carries weight over me. Had I not just experienced my last six months, I would know no different, but I feel like a secret box of wonder has been shown to me. While I have never been against homeschooling, I have also never felt I had what it takes to see it through. Maybe at this age I am allowed to embrace every moment with them and not feel like I am depriving them of the schooling system, there is time for all that. I find myself revisiting my capabilities as a mother and shaper of my children’s world. I don’t known yet what the next while holds for us, and maybe our path will be more or less dictated for us, but it is great to be able to see my children’s education in a different light. These last six months have truly opened my eyes, and filled my heart to overflowing.
